I miss her

We're all beginning to feel it. There is a certain sadness to my aunt these days and yesterday I got a call from my Uncle Frankie (in Aussie) who told me he's feeling very depressed of late. He can't stop dreaming of her.

Yesterday I was angry and hostile. I yelled and bitched. I seem to have this unshakeable crankiness these day.

My sister spent the last week here and left on Saturday. I miss her too. It was nice to wakeup and have someone here. She's maturing. It's nice to have an adult relationship with her even though I still try and hold her hand when we cross the street. I still jump into her bed in the morning when she's sleeping and wrap my arms around her as if she is this little-bitty thing. To feel that sorta love for someone is crazy. Our relationship grows in different ways and it's so refreshing to have her to talk to. My relationship with my mother had changed significantly before she died. We could talk about so much for hours. And I finally felt after all of those years that I wasn't a disappointment to her.