Laughing

http://www.nypost.com/seven/08312007/news/nationalnews/britneys_ex_isnt_worth_a_fed_c.ht

NY Post referred to Britney Spears as a Pop-Tard. I think that is beyond hysterical.

What happened to the week? It flew by. Exciting new prospects for the fall including writing the website for an Eastern European winery. Interesting...

Today I will take off early to bring Peter back to that hell house he lives in. Our Dad is still looking for a place - not much luck so far.

Right Now I Am Feeling _______________

Last night Peter and I hooked up with Gigi and her son to see the movie WAR with Jason Statham and Jet Li. Jason Statham is a sexy, sexy beast. He just gets my knickers all in a twist. I've never seen a Jet Li movie before. I mean we're not talking film here, but it was entertaining.

My family birthday party was a lot of fun this weekend. My grandmother got a bit loaded of cheap wine and she's always talking about death. Amy spent most of the time sleeping. Other than that, no real complaints.

I made my first venture into Brooklyn this weekend and got seriously lost. I drove through the neighborhoods I grew up in. What unbelievable changes. I got a car service for Grandma on the return.

The summer is coming to a close and soon we'll be without houseguests. I guess this is payback for Kimmee and Jay housing us for 2.5 weeks. I'll bring Peter back on Friday afternoon and then prepare for our Rick, Emily and Yoda's arrival from Cleveland.

Next week is back to the grind - the fall will be busy, busy. I hope my brain wakes the fuck up.

Who has been keeping up with The Hills? Is that Spencer guy an asshole or what? So is Brody. It's nice to see Lauren come out of her shell a bit and show some expression on her face. As for Audrina's boyfriend - I find him rather attractive depite the fact that "homey wore combat boots to a beach party." Regardless, was that a relationship completely without dialogue. I'm confused. If they don't talk, at least show them having lots of sex!

Save the lots of sex for Big Love - the dirtiest Mormons around. I love it.

We Have a Nice Little Saturday Planned

These weeks have been flying by. To think I've been living in Astoria for 24 days and I've only been out to dinner once! Well, we go to Neptune Diner all of the time, but that doesn't count.

Last night we hit up Aliada a Cypriot and Grecian restaurant on Broadway that we used to frequent when Dan lived in his first apartment in Astoria. Aliada has made some upgrades: the horiatiki salad no longer has those thorns in whatever green they serve and they no longer have those annoying metal chairs outside that I used to slide off of. Their falafel is still wonderful. I've been eating lots o falafel since I've been back in Astoria. It seems to grow on trees here.

We went to Home Depot so I could by some plants and a light fixture for the bedroom. It seems all of our light fixtures are gone and I can not stand the bare bulb look. One light fixture I actually broke very shortly after moving in. Tried to swat a big mother fuckin' mosquito.

Anyway, did I mention that the family is coming over tomorrow: Grandma, cousin Ally, Amy, Peter, Andrew, my aunt and uncle. Hopefully my cousin Amanda will make it too. Dan is going to cook up a storm. My bro is going to stay for a week. I have to make it to Brooklyn tomorrow to picks Grams up. Bets on how badly I will get lost?

Tonight - more Cosco to pick up my birthday cake and some cheese for tomorrow.

Today I Am 31

After a trip to the ENT doctor yesterday to figure out why I feel like shit all of the time, I came home with a few prescriptions to hopefully calm down my allergies. I don't recall having allergies before, but I do recall having something done to my nose when I was little and walking around with a big bandage on it. One of those things you wish you had your mom around to remember.

As most of you know, I tend to get lost wherever I drive. So yesterday as I was driving through the Bronx and I asked a very tall, very good looking Black man for directions. Turned out he was deaf, but like the Marlee Matalin kind of deaf where he could speak a bit. He was helpful. What are the chances?

Stacy - I finally watched Whale Rider. She's such an adorable little girl. Can't believe she's a teenage mom now.

Kristin - I will take pictures of my apt...and you and Ben are welcome to come stay ANYTIME. Sorry I haven't written you back. I've been out of the office a lot. Check went out in the mail today.

Kim - I sent some stuff in the mail for you today (I finally purchased some stamps yesterday), but I didn't have the discs. My sister will bring them this weekend - hopefully.

I honestly want to crawl back into bed right now, but there is writing to be done. Cheers.

Much to Say Today Today

OK - so I'll fully admit that I really liked the movie Rent. I've never seen the Broadway show, which I'd like to now...that's if it's still on Broadway. As most of you know, I'm the girl who fell asleep during Les Miz because I was bored to tears. I'm not too in to musicals...oddly enough, Dan is VERY into musicals. He was singing along to the movie. Queer.

Anyway, I think Rosario Dawson is really hot. From the young slut in Kids to the cool fast food restaurant owner in Clerks II, she's come a long way...SO we are adding her to the hot list. Yes, women will now be on the hot list - BECAUSE - well, it's my motherfuckin blog and I like to look at pretty women even though I'm hetero.

This weekend we were all over the place. We went to Dad's house in Shrub Oak to: drop off Amy, bring some boxes and assess the size of the highboy chest of drawers. We were able to fit half of it into the car. Highboy dresses are usually built in halves. This of course meant that we had to go back the next day to get the other half. At almost 8 feet tall, the dresser, which was my mom's and once owned by the Vanderbilts, it extraordinary. It's now Dan's.

We hit Home Depot, Marshall's, National Wholesale Liquidators (scary), Home Depot and Cosco.

We only have two more boxes left to unpack. Phew. Getting this home settled is taking so long. Normally I'm quick, but I wanted Dan to be more a part of the process this time.

Anyway, interesting article in The New York Times today about city kids taking longer to graduate from high school http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/21/education/21highschool.html?_r=1&th&emc=th&oref=slogin.

My sister and I talk about this subject often and I started to think about the point of forcing a kid to go to school who literally has the capability of walking out the front door whenever she wants and cutting class. Amy told me she just didn't think she could go back to high school again. She can't "deal with that shit." We talked about her getting a GED. She said 75% of colleges accept them.

Sometimes I think we need to just accept things for what they are. This is a kid who just can't do high school. Does that mean she can't go to college. Does that mean she's not going to be successful in life? The statistics are certainly against her, but a lot of things have been against her, and she's managed to survive. Then again, I don't want her just to survive. I want her to be ahead of the curve. How is it possible that a kid in AP English in an upper class school district fails to graduate?

I suppose we are all to blame, but what's the point now. How do we help?

A Little of This and That

so yesterday i reached out to and eco-fashionista to see if she would outfit a client in some green attire for the Emmy Awards. i spelled the designers name wrong. hehe. the publicist promptly called me out on it.

i'm having constant sinus issues and must see a doctor. i've been sick way too many times the last few months. nyquil is a strange med. it's like instant retardation.

my sister is starting the sleep all day, up all night thing again. it's not driving me crazy, cause i'm holed up in my office, but i see how her habits form and i worry. i'm cutting her a break because summer camp is over and she needs to catch up on sleep as she worked really hard. her only incentive to wake up in the morning is money. i realize some people are just not cut out for school, but how do you get them to accept that some things just must be accomplished.

so i gave my sister my car and my dad had two simple tasks. register the car in his name and put my sister under his insurance policy by 8/15 when my insurance policy ended. i filled out my half of the paperwork and left it in the glove compartment. of course he didn't do it, and i know the car is still sitting on Dogface's property with the plates on it. very bad.

my sister and i watched The Fly last night. [I currently have Starz, HBO, Showtime, Max, TMC all on demand] Geena Davis is awful in that movie. just awful. Jeff Goldblum = fantastic. he's certainly one of those men that gets more attractive with age.

andrew - we need to set a date soon.

so my dogs are taking their new environment very well. Baby does this thing on the street where he stops right in front of where a person is walking and looks up at them. this morning he saw a man cleaning out his car and tried to jump in. if he sees people sitting up on the front porches he will walk right up to them. he did this tuesday night and I said, "Come on Baby. Let's go." This prompted the man on the porch to say, "Ok. I'm coming."

Introspection

My horoscope today asks me, "What exactly has been the point of all that introspection, you ask?"

It is true that each day I wake up, I feel entirely different, though my routines are solidly in place. My head has all sorts of new thoughts and I feel completely unlike myself yet I'm calm and confident.

Yesterday, my couches were delivered and my sister held down the fort while I was at a meeting in Westchester. Right before the meeting began, I gave her a call to remind her about the tip I left on the kitchen counter and she told me they were at the apt. already, but the couches wouldn't fit. The delivery men tried to pull one over on her. Basically, they really didn't want to work to hard at getting the couches through the doors. So they told her they were going to leave them in the parking space out back - they also mentioned "no refunds." So she quickly called Dan who jumped in a cab back home. Being the bratty, bitchy girl that she is, by the time Dan got here those couches were settled in the living room. I have to give props to my girl. When I left the meeting, I called Dan and he gave me the story details. Basically, he said Amy did awesome. She told those mother fuckers what to do. I have to add - she has a terrible cold and fever.

It was nice to sit on the couch and watch TV with my sis last night. I also got to pull out the cow hides Dan bought in Buenos Aires. While our flat still needs a good amount of work - like a serious paint job and some light fixtures - things are coming together nicely and I think I'm feeling comfortable. I like being on one floor again.

Some time in the fall, I will get a prescription of Ritalin and a case of beer and let Kimmee loose in my apartment with a can of paint.

Simonetti/Nieves Family Updates

So many of you might know that the relationship between my father and Dogface (also known as Hogface) is on the rocks - surprise, surprise. Dogface seems to have a bad case of OCD, absolutley despises by sister, thinks my brother is retarded and insists on keeping our family dogs locked in one room all day. To put it mildly, Bitch is Wack. She has her own food shelf in the refrigerator, refuses to get air conditioners in the house and hates my sister's BF - literally one of the sweetest kids on the planet. I've probably mentioned at some point in Annie Goes to Ithaca that Dogface smokes like a fiend and looks like one too.

While I can easily say things like, "I told you so," "If you had only listened to me," and "This woman was bad news from the get-go," I won't because my father is finally waking up and I have to support him because all of the shit he's done, all of the guilt, is going to hit him like a ton of bricks and it's going to hurt badly. If anyone is gonna pick him back up, it's going to be me. Not some other idiot, enabling, emotionally needy, bad souled woman, but me - the girl he decided to raise when she was just five years old. The girl he's told almost everything to and the girl that all he has to do is give her a look and she understands exactly what he's thinking.

I am the woman of my family and it's time I had my family back. Fortunately, today, my father agrees.

On another note, Baby puked in my bed this morning.

I Love Him, I Do

...though I don't think he reads my blog. Happy Anniversary Dan. xoxoxoxoxxo

TV Deprived and Pissy

I am in my apartment in Astoria. Dan is back from Georgia. Dan has started work at PWC. The pugs are here with us. We have air conditioning. This is the way life should be, right? I mean, the Ithaca thing was just a hot minute of change to get a better life, right?

Why is it that I feel so strange?

What comes to mind first is that I'm PMS-ing. The second thing is that I'm severely exhausted. I have not had a decent sleep since last Monday. I have bruises all over my body from lifting, moving, shuffling, banging, tripping, cutting corners, etc. My cuticles are all cut up and I have knicks all over my fingers. My calves are tight and I have some foot/ankle pain.

Then Dad calls me last night and tells me I need to take Amy for like 2 weeks. Then Dan tells me that I'm killing him.

And tomorrow is our 6 year anniversary. I haven't thought about a gift or a card.

Today, things are just not working. Like Microsoft Outlook and my two emails accounts housed on Outlook Express. Then there is my new HP all-in-one printer. And the fact that my much-beloved shower caddy fell this morning.

And what happened to the plumber or dishwasher guy that was supposed to come and fix what's broken. My tub is not draining properly and the remnants of my (continuoulsy) dirty feet are collecting around the drain. Isn't it a new pump that they should be installing so that the dishwasher will drain?

What's going on in Big Love, Entourage, So You Think You Can Dance, Falcon Beach and Footballers' Wives?

Why can't we fast-forward to Monday when my lovely new couches will arrive and I can curl up with my legs under my tush and sink headfirst into the many channels of wonderful, beautiful cable.

It's time to eat meat.