Been Long Time

Bad dream last night and into the bathroom to pee about four times...Something is certainly not right with me and the thought of traveling to Mt. Kisco again to see the urologist is pissing me off as my week is tight.

The second anniversary of my mother's death was 10/26 and I spent the day with my aunt, cousin and sister. We had brunch at the diner, went to see Dan in Real Life and hung out at my place watching TV and eating pizza. It was so good to be with them. So good. Certainly made the day easier. I decided to wait to scatter her ashes. I went back and forth trying to figure this out - what to do - where to go...I feel a bit mad like Meridith in Grey's Anatomy who kept her mother's ashes in her closet and then dumped them in a Ziploc and brought them to work. Maybe over the summer I'll be ready for this. I am still lonely without her, which is something I can't seem to shake.

My sister stayed for almost a week and I just love having her around. She's maturing; so am I. We went to Chinatown one Sunday and she bought two little turtles on the street. We named them Flea and Frusciante. They're adorable.

The family is slated to move around November 15. This will be a great thing for all of us. Maybe we'll all be able to spend time together again.

*break* have to go pee...

Friday we went to eat at Sac's, an Italian restaurant on 30th Avenue that makes great coal oven pizza. The problem is that their Italian food is not all great even though the place is always hopping. I had papardelle pasta that we probably the worst I've ever had.

Saturday we went to Mario's in Westport, Conn. for Dan's grandma's birthday. I haven't had a steak since Buenos Aires and it was phenomenal. The problem with eating steak is that you feel so heavy thereafter. Coupled with two glasses of Cabernet, I could have fallen asleep on the restaurant floor.

During my time in Ithaca, I spent most weekends at a movie. Two indie theatres were less than 5 miles away and I soaked up as much as I could. At these theatres I could also get apple cider and homebaked chocolate cookies for .75 cents each. I miss that. I miss going to the movies by myself. So when Dan said he wanted to go to Sean's to watch football on Sunday, I had my chance! I went to see Gone Baby Gone all by my lonesome and it was fabulous. Casey Affleck is a cutie. Ed Harris was spectacular as usual (and very sexy). Props to Ben Affleck (whom I used to love) for revitalizing his career.

And now I go back to work.

Sleep Deprived And Pissy As Hell

A bunch of West Coast activitity kicked my ass last week. My head felt foggy (probably due to these fucking allergies) but I plowed through. A fun weekend - I had. Stacy on Friday; chivitos with the Matos Family on Saturday (whadda meal!); Chinatown with Chris and Francea on Sunday (whadda meal - Joe Shanghai - yum - almond cookie ice cream). I slept not a wink Sunday night and tonight I'm having the same problem. I even took my last Valium - to no avail. I must check the cabinets for Nyquil.

I'm afraid of the creeping of the Fall - that familiar swirl, those nips of wind - are getting to me. It's my witching season. The season of new beginnings and tragic endings. I'm starting to feel caught up again.

I cancelled therapy tonight...my therapist from Ithaca-whom I love-is kind enough to do phone sessions with me...but tonight I worked and was brain dead. The thought of talking for an hour did not appeal to me.

I keep thinking about people who are influencers vs. followers. How often do we emmulate those we admire? It's so hard to find original people these days. I'm bored with people. I'm becoming far more intrigued with pictures. I have to start reading more - again.

I'm stuck on this stupid Angels and Demons book by Dan Brown. Those books don't interest me despite all of the snippets of knowledge and culture packed in. They just don't hold any literary value. But Dan told me it was better than the Da Vinci Code and I was mildly amused by that, so I figured I would give it a try. Some 200+ pages in and I'm starting to scan. I have a good book waiting for me in our library. (One day I'll take pics of our new apartment.)

Just finished watching Less Than Zero - Andrew McCarthy and Robert Downey - the loves of my life as an adolescent. I still get teary when Downey dies.

I have to give props to a few people who are making or have made some incredible changes in their lives: Mer - my soon-to-be-divorcee - you continue to amaze (and shock) me. I love it. I hope at some point we can meet up in the same state. Who woulda thunk things would turn out this way? Kristin - many congrats on your new position- though I wish I had the money to hire you as a full-time writer. Gigi - let the writing flow in your new phat home in New Jersey with the boys.

I need a new pair of red shoes.

Oh and we bought a big orchid this weekend. It's a beaut. Also, another big sheep skin for our bed - ahhh so obnxiously cozy.